i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
