I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize