sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
