hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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