every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
