I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I have feelings that need drinking.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
