I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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