You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
