Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
