This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
