There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
