so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
