Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
