called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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