I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize