she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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