I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
