Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
