My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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