Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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