I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Drunk is not a location!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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