i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
