I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
