from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
