My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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