i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
