we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
