ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize