I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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