My first STD was from a foam party
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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