i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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