i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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