I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
