i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
