I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
