S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
