My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize