so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
