so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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