I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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