its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
