So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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