sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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