so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
