I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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