from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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