so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
