I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
