I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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