But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize