The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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