i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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