Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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