yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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