I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize