clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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