You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
