Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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