the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
