What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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