fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
