i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize