there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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