this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Pooping to opera.
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